Speaking Pie To Power

For those who don't yet know, the Biotic Baking Brigade (BBB) are an international network of Pie-rect Action resistance to neoliberalism, politicians and sell-out NGO 'leaders'. This year's lucky recipients of pies have included the managing director of the International Monetary Fund (IMF), Michel Camdessus, and the creator of Dolly the cloned sheep, Keith Campbell. As Agent Apple explains, "This uprising has its roots in the belief that our planet is not dying, it is being killed; and the ones doing the killing have names and faces."

See http://www.asis.com/~bbb/index.html.

1 - Anne Widdecombe, 27, April

Shadow Home Secretary Anne Widdecombe was spectacularly pied while signing copies of her first book in Oxford. A custard tart, made to a traditional Romany recipe, was delivered by Agent Orange of the Campsfield High Command of the BBB.

Agent Custard Tart, who targeted the shadow Home Secretary because of her attitude towards refugees, said: "The Conservatives are stigmatising asylum seekers in a cheap bid to gain votes that would probably otherwise go to the BNP. The overwhelming majority of people seeking asylum are people who have faced oppression - even torture and other violence, discrimination and deprivation in the country they have left. We should be welcoming them and offering them refuge, as common decency and international law demand."

A man was charged with using threatening words and behaviour and a woman with assault and affray. The custard-stained books sold well.

For information on refugee support, contact: National Coalition of Anti-Deportation Campaigns (NCADC), 110 Hamstead Road, Birmingham, B20 2QS, 0121 5546947, ncadc@ncadc.demon.co.uk.

2 - David Icke

British anti-semitic conspiracy theorist (and ex-Green Party candidate) David Icke was pied during a press conference/book-signing in Canada. As well as claiming that the world is run by shape-shifting reptiles (possibly from Mars), Icke uses historical right-wing anti-semitic theories like The Protocols of the Elders of Zion and has also praised the research of British Holocaust denier David Irving.

The book-signing / press conference was interrupted when three protestors, two dressed as lizards, one with an alien hand puppet, entered the store and proceeded to ridicule Icke. While being heckled for his anti-semitic views by the alien hand puppet, Icke was suddenly creamed by two lemon-meringue pies. While the pie-tossers fled, the lizards and hand-puppet were aggressively confronted by Icke's Followers. All escaped unscathed, leaving a cream covered mess of bigotry and nuttiness behind.

The pies were selected for their flaky crusts. Flaky pies for a flaky guy.