Opening Ceremony Cut To Ribbons

The massed might (all eight of us) of some of the nations maddest road heads combined to make John “P45” MacGregor’s last public engagement as much fun as a reshuffle phone call.

He was out to help open the new A14 (M6 to Harwich) juggernaut corridor with some hand picked sycophants and press, only one of them turned out to be a Road Alert! plant, and caused the Ex Secretary of State much embarrassment.

A posse of banner bearing media dogs ambushed the press corpse (no mistake) on their way to the newly scrubbed carriage way (which some pissed off local had defaced the night before...) A lone farmer had also set up shop on a suitably sloganised and very poised looking slurry spreader, until the local plod got jumpy at the thought of several hundred gallons of airborne liquid pigshit and had a quiet word with him.

The ceremony was held right by the bits of Naseby Battlefield that caused such a ruck when the road was planned, insensitive or what?

Still, the day was not the sort of send off TarMacGregor was hoping for, and the local cops proved to be completely incapable of getting their heads round what was going on, so plenty to build on for the future.

Final score, Arrests 0, Security Breaches 1, Beers 6.