No, No, No, M11

The latest news from Leytonstone, conveyed by carrier pigeon from on top of John MacTarmac's (his identity has been changed for his protection) roof is that after only 7 months work, the contractors, Nor west-Holst, are five months behind schedule, in spite of all of our assistance and constant benevolent presence.

9 protesters climbed onto the transport minister's roof last week, apparently trying to find somewhere to live, perhaps in one of the spacious wings of his abode. All credit to the "group's liaison man Patrick Field (made up name?) smartly fitted out with (borrowed?) suit, tie and clipboard". [The Indy says the "precision and organisation was flawless" - shurety shome mishtake? - eds]