Direct Action by boat against opening of Dartford Bridge

Collision At The Traffic Jam In The Sky

The official opening of the new Dartford Bridge, just East of London, set the scene for the first Carmageddon action in London. The Dartford Bridge is just one of a family of damaging crossings the road lobby and the Department of Transport is planning for the Thames.

We were planning to add to the show which already included the Queen, a fly-over by Hawker Harriers, a tune or two from a massed choir and assorted (which where kept afloat with almost as much hot air as their corporate owners expelled in "ecofriendly" waffle each year). We were sure we would be the icing on the cake for the media that had talked of the opening with pleas for "some thing interesting to happen".

Our plan was to speed by the queen in inflatables, foghorns and banners in hand as she pressed the magic button that opened the bridge. This plan was of course second to connecting the magic button to explosives on the bridge - just imagine their faces if old Liz destroyed their masterpiece.

Out on the water as we were nearing our goal we were spotted and chased by the police. One boat got past and almost made it into the Police "Exclusion Zone". The other boat was rammed by the Water Police who later accused us of ramming them. They stopped us from reaching our goal. We were realistic when we set out and realised that luck would have to be on our side for us to be successful - obviously it wasn't.

The moral of this story is: STOP THESE STERILE STRIPS OF DEATH BEFORE THEY LEAVE THE DEVELOPERS CARVING BOARD.

Jason Torrance
Lea Valley EF!